A Closeted Atheist in a Conservative Christian College
Now I am content with my atheism. I wouldn't honestly want to be any other way. People often say that they "choose to believe" something or other. I don't believe it at all. ... What I am not content with is being closeted. Attending a university like mine means that I'm automatically there. Everyone automatically assumes that I am of their particular denomination.
They are willing to accept a person who is still a Christian but of a different denomination, but some people seem to not be able to wrap their minds around someone who actually doesn't believe in that god. I'm probably making the people that I interact with on a daily basis seem horrible. They're not - they're just ignorant. And there are people who aren't that way. I just wish I could find more of them.
Shannon says that she has to deal with these issues every day. She doesn't regret her decision to attend a Christian college — even a conservative Christian college — but she doubts whether it's very good for her mental health. I'd have to agree with her. The pressures she must have to endure on a daily basis aren't the sort which help produce or maintain a positive, healthy personality. You can only live a lie for so long. Gays have had to deal with just this sort of thing for decades, only recently being able to come out of the closet and be honest about who they really are.
Also unhealthy is the fact that Shannon has tormented herself for a long time about her unbelief. She wanted desperately to believe and thought that she wasn’t happy because she wasn't able to achieve the belief she thought she should have. The truth, though, seems to be that she wasn't happy because she was trying to be someone she really wasn't. Now that she has come to terms with being an atheist, things should improve. If she can reach the point where she doesn't have to hide her atheism from people around her, things may get even better still.
You should leave comments of support and encouragement on her blog.
Understanding Atheism & Atheists:
- Atheism 101
- What is Atheism?
- Defining Atheism
- Is Atheism a Religion?
- Who Are Atheists?
- Why Don't Atheists Believe in God?
- Questions About Atheism
- Atheism Myths
- Polls on Atheism
Resources for Atheists:
Comments
Shannon, I can’t get to your blog, but I want you to know that there are many of us out here who have travelled paths similar to yours and we are pulling for you. It’s not easy following your heart when you have been brought up in a family tradition of religious belief. My Mom recently died and she was the one “zealot” in the family, so maybe now at age 54 I will finally be able “come out”. I am sure that the more of us who publicly announce our non-belief, the easier it will be for the rest. Best of luck to you in your quest for freedom to not believe!
Shannon, I have just recently made it known to my family that I am atheist and I swear they think I am diseased now. I have watched all of their children for about 10 years now and they won’t let me near them now. They give me dirty looks and “heaven” forbid I say anything even jokingly about god, church or otherwise. You have an advantage woman, leave your job, they will never change, the Christians are too ignorant to change now.